35 days to go...

So now it's getting to the point where I'm getting nervous about the placement itself. It's crazy to think so much energy, planning and organising has gone into a single 2 week placement. I'm nervous about things I'll observe and won't agree with; I'm nervous about not having to speak up and question/challenge practices; I'm very nervous about seeing a situation where a poor outcome was simply a result of lack of resources. I'm terrified about feeling out of my depth and not having my usual pillars of support available - friends, family, my cohort; all the people I don't hesitate to routinely turn to when I need to share amazing news of a delivery just as often as I need a hug, rant and/or cry.
I tell myself these are undoubtedly normal worries and concerns for someone about to embark on such a massive change of culture alone. But then again I won't be completely alone, I'll have the other 4 lovely student midwives to turn to at times.
My professional cool-headed angel sat on my shoulder tells me it'll all be good, these worries are normal and I shouldn't waste energy worrying...but then there's the little devil on my other shoulder screaming panic in my ear as there's plenty to be worrying about, including all the things I still need to buy/do! Well right at this moment in time the angel is drowning out the devil.
So along with my fun bedtime fiction reading (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets at present...and I've somehow managed to read them out of order so far), and my constant perusing of Tanzania and Zanzibar guidebooks and a Swahili phrasebook, I'm also trying to fill my brain with information about obstetric emergencies. I've kinda figured that Tanzania will test my knowledge of these and it's knowledge that will always be of massive value throughout my career. It'll also be really interesting to compare the differences in norms of practice so I kinda want to do some reading up on WHO guidance.
Soon I'm starting a placement on a SCBU ward, another thing I'm a little nervous about but it will certainly be interesting and yet another point where the comparison of care for poorly babies, or infants at greater risk of becoming ill will be particularly interesting between the 2 countries.

Done:
anti-malarial tablets ordered
paperwork and admin bits
a stack of travel toiletries received as a gift from a wonderful friend xxx
got scrubs and found shoes

To Do:
buy shoes
sort insurance
book Zanzibar trip (just waiting for some details to be confirmed then I'll be booking away!)
break open my savings jar (mixed feelings about this - it's so pretty, but it's full of cash lol)